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Did I ask for your 'flattering' insults
Or if I wanted to know my exact size?
Never, so what are you thinking of
To say 'shorty' right in my face?

Call me small one more time
And you shall feel my wrath.
Listen to my words,
Long life won't be in for you anymore.

Maybe I shouldn't have started this.
Especially since I'm running out of ideas.

Al... tell me again... why am I doing this?

So I'll repeat this only once
Hope you'll understand it this time.
Or I'll have to beat some sense into you.
Remember from now on
That by calling me 'shorty',
You've signed your own death penalty.

Edward Elric, a.k.a. Fullmetal Alchemist
It popped into my mind last night, at least the last stanza did. I had to rewrite it several times until I was satisfied, and this is the result. It was intended to be funny, I hope I succeeded.

All comments and critique are welcome.

Disclaimer: Fullmetal Alchemist and all the characters do not belong to me.
Add a Comment:
Monustaai Featured By Owner Mar 3, 2015
*laughing* That is so clever. 
Very good.
pikachu2510 Featured By Owner Feb 18, 2013
LMFAO omg i love it! <3 :D
tora2tiger Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2012  Hobbyist Artist
Shorty is right dont you dare call shorty short, or he will kill you!!
catnekochan Featured By Owner Sep 29, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
I saw this ages ago when I didn't have devianART but now I do :3 yay! It's absolutely brilliant, I love it, and I feel so sorry for Ed because I get teased for my height too :3 but the poem is hilarious XD
SilverRoxas Featured By Owner Feb 21, 2012  Student Writer
LOL! this was great!
MakaAlbarn129 Featured By Owner Nov 24, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
i saw a video on youtube of vic magnogna (edward elric) saying, "im not short, IM FUN SIZED!!!" it was so frickin' hilarious!!!
AkatsukiLoverXDX3 Featured By Owner Nov 13, 2011  Professional General Artist
I lie him so much that when my friends mock me of being short I clap my hands in there face and say If this werent me, youd be dead by now. XD
nargles92 Featured By Owner Oct 2, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
He gets so peeved, but those are the most HILARIOUS moments of the show. :)
ultragojira Featured By Owner Sep 3, 2011
XDDDDD i love it
Stormthecat Featured By Owner Jul 11, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
hahahahahahahaha :lmao:
poor ed
SnowDrift25 Featured By Owner Jul 5, 2011  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Brilliant! I love this!
haruhi-souho Featured By Owner Jun 26, 2010
lol its epic! i love acrostic poems!!!
MadHatter-Kome Featured By Owner Jun 16, 2010  Hobbyist Digital Artist
xDD Lawl! That's awesome :33 It was funny XD
Rozarin Featured By Owner May 13, 2010  Hobbyist General Artist
Hahaha, fantastic! :XD:
YuGiOhWierdo01 Featured By Owner Mar 8, 2010
Allright, allright..... Shrimp. *laughs and runs like hell* xDDDDD

Very, very nicely done. o3o
Icystar3 Featured By Owner Mar 7, 2010  Student Digital Artist
:3 Its so cute!!!!:meow:
gracefull-wind Featured By Owner Oct 24, 2009
Ha thats funny dont call me shorty lol!
RikkiTheBlackFox Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2009
That is so freakin' HILARIOUS! Frankly Ed, I don't care if you kill me, seeing you go crazy is worth it, small fry.
NNCS Featured By Owner Jun 10, 2009
Very funny!
PoisonousDuckie Featured By Owner Apr 11, 2009
lol nice.
JakFanGirl16 Featured By Owner Jan 29, 2009
don't call me a shorty..very cute and well thought out XD
RabbitBatThing Featured By Owner Oct 20, 2008  Student Digital Artist
joytheeevee Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2008
well suckes to be u shorty becuse im the ultamet life form i allways live so shorty shorty edwards a shorty
TnClvr1 Featured By Owner Dec 17, 2010
1. You spelled ultimate wrong.
2. The Chaos Gods are the ultimate lifeforms.
3. Ed will kill for saying those things.
RabidGaaraFan Featured By Owner Sep 12, 2008
DON'T CALL ME A SHORTY! Nice idea. I am so going to fave this ^_^
Sora-Livana Featured By Owner Sep 4, 2008
Me likes ^^
Mrs-Baka Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2008
This is awesome

:hug: Ed)
AdventureAddict Featured By Owner Jun 28, 2008  Hobbyist General Artist
Lol, Ed's such a great poet. :laughing:

It certainly was funny. Nice job on it. :heart:
deathrose12 Featured By Owner Jun 6, 2008   Traditional Artist
i could just hear ed yelling this in someones face and throwing a huge fit about someone calling him a shorty!!! XD nice!
xXanime19fairy94Xx Featured By Owner Oct 31, 2007
*thumbs up*brilliant!
raneynr Featured By Owner Sep 19, 2007
This is perfect! It too me until the end of the first verse and then I blinked and started all over again with a grin.
imsosmrt Featured By Owner Aug 8, 2007
Hey! thats pretty good:) never woulda thought of that!
Kira-hana Featured By Owner Jan 23, 2007
Ohhh ho! That's awesome... please, ignore my foolish words, that's just how I talk around my friends from school... lol
marysia1990 Featured By Owner May 22, 2006  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
cool!!! :clap:
I love it! It;s super! :rofl:
It's so fun!
Cofie Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2005  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hehehehe nice! XD
I like it much-much!
Crono8 Featured By Owner Apr 19, 2005
XD Aww that`s cute...
Jasmine-Hime25 Featured By Owner Apr 16, 2005
thish ish sooooooo cyute!!!!!
phoenixworks Featured By Owner Jan 15, 2005
lol thats Ed. Great and cute poem
phoenixworks Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2005
no problem
lenihanfighter Featured By Owner Jan 16, 2005
Thanks for the comment and fave! :D
phoenixworks Featured By Owner Jan 22, 2005
No problem ( sorry for not responding sooner I have no interent till this thursday)
BaN13kAzUkI Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2004
:clap: :clap:
lenihanfighter Featured By Owner Nov 21, 2004
:bow: Thank you. :D
dzioo Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2004  Hobbyist
hahaha i like it to death!!!!!:rofl: great idea!!!!:clap:
lenihanfighter Featured By Owner Sep 23, 2004
Thanks! :lol: I'm glad you liked it! :D
Yukyou Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2004
And I really like THE LAST WARNING >.<

Especially the last sentence:nod:
Yukyou Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2004
How could I not make it my :+fav:?

Ed is one of my favourite bishies*_*

Besides your pic is great!!!:deviation:

I :heart: his expression(it shows his character perfectly^^)
lenihanfighter Featured By Owner Sep 21, 2004
Lol. The picture was just a screenshot taken from the first episode. ;) If I had to draw him you probably wouldn't even recognise it was Ed. :( But I'm glad you liked the choice of picture for preview. :D

And I'm glad you liked the last sentence! :D That's one of my fave sentences in this poem as well. ^^ :hug: I'm so glad you liked it. ^^
dougurasu Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2004  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Hahahaha!! :XD: I can see Ed jumping up and down on someone right now :XD: Brilliant :p
lenihanfighter Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2004
^^ Thanks. :hug: It's good, isn't it? XD
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Submitted on
June 29, 2004
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